Dear Respectable Citizens and Other Suspects,
For those unfamiliar with The Teacup Tattler, allow me to introduce myself.
I am Lady Spillington of Mahone Bay — keeper of some 140 teas and observer of the peculiar little behaviours people exhibit whilst believing nobody is watching.
I am watching.
Not maliciously, of course.
Mostly from behind a teacup.
It seems fitting that our acquaintance should begin during Mahone Bay’s Scarecrow Festival, when our otherwise respectable seaside town collectively loses its mind and fills the streets with people who are not technically people.
For eleven months, we are terribly civilized.
Three churches. Sailboats. Painted houses. Hydrangeas.
Then October arrives and someone says:
“What Main Street needs is 250 people stuffed with straw.”
And not one Nova Scotian questions it.
They are everywhere.
On benches. In gardens. Outside shops. Lurking behind shrubs.
One has been loitering on Main Street for a fortnight, and nobody has summoned the RCMP.
Because this is Nova Scotia.
Put plaid on anything in October and apparently it may remain indefinitely.
Naturally, people come from across the province to see them.
Nova Scotians require remarkably little encouragement for a road trip.
A full tank of petrol, a coffee, and the promise of a fisherman stuffed with Canadian Tire flyers will generally do it.
And upon arrival, perfectly sensible adults begin embracing them.
“Get one of me and Earl!”
Madam.
Earl has a pillowcase for a head.
Have some dignity.
Although dignity, admittedly, left town shortly after the first scarecrow arrived.
The leaves are turning, the harbour is sparkling, the streets are bustling, and several hundred fabric citizens are silently judging your parallel parking.
It is ridiculous.
It is magnificent.
It is Mahone Bay.
Other towns put out pumpkins.
We apparently required a population increase.
So, come wander the streets, admire the scarecrows, and enjoy our gloriously peculiar little corner of the South Shore.
And should you spot a woman nearby with a cup of tea, quietly taking notes…
Pay her no mind.
Although perhaps mind your manners.